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Writing my first blog and taking some time to sit back and think about the last 10 years,  has been refreshing. I don't think I have ever taken the time to really reflect, and this blog has given me that. With kids you rarely have much time to think about anything else except getting them ready and chasing them around. This has really taken over the last 6 years. This blog has been nice, and made me smile and laugh.
 

 There have been some very hard times for us on the circuit and some extremely exciting times as well. Of course Ironman Hawaii in 2007, was a huge highlight for us when Chris won. That day the kids and I were so happy for Chris. It was his dream, he had had all his life, and he had talked so much about this race to me before I knew anything about the sport. It was a definite passion of his and to see him win was incredible. For me however, it was not the race which I am most proud of my husband for.
 

Ironman Hawaii was his dream, and I understood how big the  event in the scale of this sport, but being a non competitive person, my view of the entire sport was different to Chris's. Seeing Chris win the Goodwill Games Triathlon in 2001 was a real highlight for me. The entire Goodwill Games experience was a buzz, The short course races in Europe, on the ITU circuit, and also in the USA, were alot of fun. It was not the success of it, but more the athletes on this circuit. It did have a much more open and social feel about it and I knew many of these guys and girls better I guess. It gave me a better appreciation for how tough racing is, and to see my boyfriend winning these races was great. It was my initiation to this sport of triathlon and I enjoyed it a lot. These are some of the nicest memories I have of us together, and our time abroad racing here was fun.

 

Then in 2002 came this obsession with winning Ironman Hawaii. The thing that amazed me most about Chris, and made me see him differently to other guys I had met, was he always set new goals. He was the best at short course triathlon in 2001. He had won all the races for 2 years. It was a great times and we traveled a lot. I was expecting to go back on the World Cup circuit in 2002, set up home in the USA and in Europe, and do what we had done the previous few years. It just seemed like the natural thing anyone in this position would do.

 

Instead in January of 2002, Chris decided he would like to do Ironman Australia and ultimately Ironman Hawaii that same year. He had talked so much to me about this Hawaii race in the past, even to the point that on our first few dates, he would make me watch it on old videos he had of the race that, he had collected over the years. Not exactly my concept of what dinner and a Video was meant to be, but thats another story. The other guys on the short course circuit never had this obsession for Ironman like Chris did. He just loved it and lived it. In 2001 he flew halfway around the world to go over and to watch the event for the first time. He was like an excited kid at Christmas.

 

For this reason I guess, Ironman just didn't seem logical to me. Not the event, but the timing. Growing up I knew about the Olympics, but Ironman I knew nothing about, except what I had seen in these videos. To me it was a strange decision, but I began to understand more about what drove Chris. It was this entire focus on fulfilling what was real to him. To Chris, this was Ironman Hawaii and Ironman racing. His career or future was not guided by what others thought would be good for him, or what people expected would be the logical path or progression. His career was driven by his childhood passions and I really believe this is why he has been so successful. I know my husband very well, and it is this real commitment to his passion that has been the foundation of his longevity, his success and his career. It is what feeds his competitive soul.

 

At the time I couldn't understand his decision but supported it. Now 6 years on, reflecting, it was this moment that gave me a better understanding of what my husband stands for. He is driven by a deeper passion that is more than medals, money or fame. Ironman videos brought him to Triathlon in the first place and inspired him. I don't have a competitive bone in my body, but Chris showed me where people draw their personal inspiration from. I was now able to understand more this concept of competition and why Chris did and said what he does. I wish to instill this same desire and mindset into my children. To really believe that dreams can come true, if you stay true to yourself. I think it is this realness about Chris which inspires. He is true to himself.

 

Many say that Chris is cocky or arrogant, but I think they really don't understand his complexity of character. I often cringe at some of the things, Chris says.  I am often saying to Chris after reading magazines or sites with interviews he has done and said, "did you really have to say that" or " they are not going to understand what you mean by that." I guess it is my protective side to have people really understand who Chris is and I would be lying if I said it didn't upset me. I often think that many people never get past some of the things he says, and I (Chris doesn't) understand how people can mistake him as cocky or arrogant. I often read his interviews and roll my eyes thinking, "here we go again."

 

I guess the best way I can explain it, is the reply Chris often gives me when I ask him that same question, "Emma, if I don't believe I can do it then who will believe in me. By saying it, its real, and only when something is real can I start to believe it myself."  Maybe this is cocky, I'm not sure, or maybe it is ambitious.

 

OK, this blog has gone off track a little and I just wanted to say that while dreams are great, and the course of chasing them a real challenge, it is easy in hindsight to say how wonderful the journey was. When you are living through it, you never reach those dreams without hitting the bottom a few times. I say behind every great success is a series of failures that no one ever remembers. People only remember the positive outcomes. I lived through both the ups and downs with Chris. They are our life as we lived them.

 

This is where I find myself now. I sit here thinking of the happiest and proudest I have very been of my husband. My most proud moment of Chris was in 2003  the day my husband walked to the finish line of the Ironman World championships in Kona still makes me sit up with pride. It was the first time I had seen my husband broken like this competitively. We were married only 8 weeks prior to the race, had been on our honeymoon, and everything seemed set for a victory in Kona. Chris had a remarkable season again and seemed set for Hawaii success. I knew at 10 miles into the run that Chris was in a bad way. He was running in 6th place, but I could see in his face, that the fire was out and it was now survival.

 

Chris had told me in the days before the race, that no matter how ugly it got, he was going to see the finish line in Kona for the first time in his career. I really wondered if this was just bravado as pre-race the talk of not achieving the desired result is never discussed. Everyone, including Chris, only ever discussed and planned the success of the day and the focus was on crossing the line first. In Kona 2003, he stayed true to what he had told me, and crossed the line around 9 and a bit hours. He was devastated competitively and broken mentally after not meeting his goal in the heat of Hawaii.  I have told Chris this many times, it is my most proud moment of his career. He had so much success around him, that I often wondered how he would deal with personal failure as he saw it. His failures in Kona were personal, really personal, and I was most proud that he had the humility and pride to be true to that real dream. He had preached it to me for years and now he stayed true to that. The dream of seeing that finish line in Kona for the first time, no matter what. He did that and I think it was the single race that changed my husband as a racer, and gave him the understanding and respect for a race that he would have to spend some time working out for himself. Sitting here I really think Chris will look back and agree with me. It is my most proud moment for much deeper reasons. I often think it takes those of us without those deep rooted competitive desires, to see the success in what these result, driven people view as failure sometimes.

 

Sienna has woken up so time end my journey down memory lane. I hope you enjoy.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Emma